Be Quiet Already about Your New Year's Resolutions

January 03, 2011

I actually don't even do them.  I'm a goal oriented person, too, but I guess for me there's nothing magical about the start of the calendar year that gets me to wanting to set them. 

I do get why so many folks like to evaluate the previous year and then set goals for the new year, but how many of those goals are exactly like the ones they set the previous year?  Were they disappointed that they didn't meet those goals?  Are they setting themselves up for another disappointment at the end of this year?  How many of your friends and family know you didn't hit your resolutions?  Now with blogging - how many strangers?! 

I do get it though - start fresh with a new year and toss last year's resolutions one didn't meet into the garbage disposer.If I have a goal that I'm willing to set I'm not going to wait til January 1st to make it.  Do I set an end date?  I try to set an aggressive date to make sure I stay on top of it, but also a reasonable expectation so I don't beat or flog a dead horse if the goal has become irrelevant or unrealistic. 

Setting personal goals in general, I think, should be done in the privacy of one's own head or diary.  This video of Derek Sivers below explains why this might be the best thing you can do to increase your chances of achieving them. 

I've had this happen to me. A few years ago I thought if I told everyone my goal of losing weight it would keep me on track knowing that others would question me if I was still looking a little round the next time they saw me and me knowing others were watching. Basically that I'd be embarrassed into succeeding if my willpower gave out. However, what happened was that my friends and family told me how great that I was going to do this for myself, but of course never said anything to me thereafter. We all just let it slip into the ozone. I guess I did, because I'd already received my kudos.In the same vein are those that don't say their resolutions out loud, because they're afraid of the Jinx Factor.  You know, that karma thing where you are anticipating something is going to happen so you start telling folks and then darn it if it turns sour and doesn't happen.

In doing some research for this post I came across a fascinating post in Tania Kotsos' blog Mind Your Own Reality.  She's a life coach and although I don't have one - maybe I need one!  In her post "How NOT to Tempt Fate - Just Keep QUIET!" she says:

"There is a very specific reason why verbalizing ones expectation may prevent it from happening, and the answer does not belong in any book of superstition or jinxes. It is not fate that you tempt but rather it is the creation process that you interrupt and hence, prevent your expectation from manifesting when you speak about it too soon. In ignorance of the creation process, one has little choice but to shoulder all the responsibility on fate and the jinx."

and

"To Keep Quiet Means Say Nothing: The only way not to interrupt the creation process, and hence not to appear to "tempt fate", is to keep it private. This really means say nothing to no one - not to your best friend, your partner or even your most trusted confidant. The instant you talk about it you release and disperse the previously concentrated energy of your thought power. You do not have to reveal every hope, expectation and feeling on your Facebook status or summarise them into 140 characters on Twitter! Moreover, physically sharing your expectations also inadvertently opens you up to the other person's expectations and belief (or lack thereof) in what you are saying, and can also create a sense of panic within you because now that you have "said it", you have to prove it. This in turn breeds attachment, and if social media is "freezing" your intentions then attachment is killing them."

Don't worry, a LOT of that was over my head and maybe more gobbledygook than one can swallow, but the gist of it all is don't set yourself up for failure by allowing the possibility of others to rain on your parade.  And some other stuff, too...None of this says I'm more successful at meeting my goals, but it does explain why I don't make New Year's Resolutions... at least publicly and out loud!

Wishing you a double-rainbow full of HOPE that you succeed in your goals this year whether New Year's Resolutions or not!